Here are some more drawings that I have been working on in the lat few days. First I wanted to share some inspiration I have been looking at for these drawings. Below are some free association drawings done in charcoal by Georgia O'Keeffe. She would think of a moment in her life or something that related to that moment in time and drew what first came to mind. This first image is based on a kiss. The second image was drawn when she was experiencing a headache. She at the time did not feel up to painting, so she took a piece of charcoal and drew what she was feeling and the pain that she was experiencing. 

Kiss

Headache

        Based on this idea of association drawing I began to do my own drawings based on the memories I have been exploring. There were a few drawings that I included in the previous post and than these images below. I started by thinking about the human body and the interaction between my mother and I at the moments I was referencing. So I began to draw circles that started out representing the heads of my mother and I showing their interaction and the emotion or energy that was present at that particular moment. Below is what the result of that study is. 

        I know this is not completely there yet so I am going to keep completing small drawings and try and figure out what the best image is going to be to represent the memories I am trying to portray. See keep your eye out for new drawings that I will be posting soon!

        Now it is getting down to crunch time before the end of the semester and this week as been busy. I started out the week by continuing to explore my memories with my mother and looking at them a little bit more in depth. I have narrowed it down to a few distinct memories that are both negative and positive that I will continue to look at for inspiration for my pieces. I stated some of the memories in my previous post but again here is where my attention will be focuses for the final pieces. The first memory I will explore is the one from when I was 5. I threw horrible temper tantrums and really just made my mom feel like a terrible mom. Also I want to focus on a memories from the time when she realized I was growing up, going to college and had a serious relationship. She wasn't ready to let her one and only little girl go. To continue some other memories will be from a particular mother/daughter date that we had. We went to the movies and it was fun to just spend time with each other and enjoy each other company. Finally the last memory I will start to focus on is one that is more recent. At least once a week I will end up calling her on the phone to ask for advice or discuss a project for school and it ends in us arguing, handing up and than 5 minutes later calling to say that we were sorry. 


        These memories are all unique and seen in a negative or positive manner. So after deciding on what memories I began to journal and analyze each memory. I looked at both sides of the memory to see what both my mother and I were thinking at that moment. Also I have gone through and wrote words that represent the feelings, emotions and even roles that were being filled. It kind of ended up like a word map or web for each memory. 

For example in the exploration for the memory when I was throwing a temper tantrum here is what I found. My mom's side of the story goes a little like this. . .  


I was a cute little 5 year old that threw the worst temper tantrums. On that particular day she had to say no to me and I didn't want to hear it. So i started crying, screaming and kicking the floor. She had to put me in my room as I was screaming mean things and making her feel like a terrible mom. She went and locked herself in the bathroom next to my room and cried as she could hear me continuing to scream and cry. She didn't know what to do and felt like she was failing as a mom because she was letting a 5 year get the best of her. 


Now for my side of the story. . . 


I was a cute little 5 year old that did nothing wrong and thought I should always get my way. I hated the word no, so on that day when I heard that word it seemed like the end of the world. I started kicking and screaming thinking that would make my mom back down and give me what I wanted but all it got was me sent to my room where I continued to cry and scream. I don't remember exactly what I wanted but I am sure to a 5 year old it must have been something important. Through all my kicking and screaming one thing I remember doing was I was so mad at my mom I had this small pink baby doll stroller and I took it and shoved it at the door. By shoving it I ended up breaking the wheel off the stroller and was than even more mad at myself. Everything that day was going wrong for me. 


        Also based on this memory I started to list words that came to mind that could describe or relate to the memory. Some of those words include, anger, tears, yelling, defeat, loss of control, monster, etc. Based on this I also started to think about the role and interaction between my mother and I that day. This is just one example of how I have started to analyze the memories but I have completed this same thing for all the different memories I have look at. 


        Also this week I had a few conversation with some of my friends and one particular conversation sparked a new idea of interest based on the mother/ daughter relationship. We started talking about what the normal relationship between a mother and her daughter could be defined as and what we personally thought normal was. What came form this is that really there is no stereotypical normal definition of a relationship between a mother and her daughter. Everyone's relationship with their mother is different and the memories are unique to that bond they hold. This got me also thinking about how I can use my images and stories of these memories to get the viewer thinking about what is really normal and actively thinking about their own relationship. Furthermore to elaborate and continue to look into this idea I have started to look at some articles and readings that focus on this topic and look at the bond and roles between a mother and daughter. I want to not only explore my own relationship, but the concept of what a relationship is and all the unique aspects to it. 


        Not only am I journalling but I can starting to create some drawing based on free association. Below are a few of the drawing I have already completed but I will continue to add more drawings in the next few days. These drawing I am starting with charcoal and loosing starting to draw images that represent what I am thinking and what inspiration I am pulling from distinct memories. 

        So the next few days I will be continuing to complete these drawings and although right now I am just using black charcoal I want to start to bring color into the mix and start experimenting so I will probably use colored pastels so I am able to still have the loose freedom when drawing that I get form the charcoal. Also I want to do some more prints on different color studies and experimentation. Also all while doing all this work and exploration I will continue to get my presentation together for my IP review this coming week, So I will be very busy but I am confident and excited because I am answering questions and going down new paths! So watch for my new drawings that I will continue to post over the next few days.

        After my trip home for break a lot of things for my project have become much more clear. Before I was struggling a lot with what imagery I was going to focus on in each of my pieces. I was trying to think of pictures and symbols to represent my mother and I's relationship and continued to get stuck and more frustrated. So after this break I thought of trying to focus on certain memories that my mother and I hold that define our relationship. So this is my new plan of attack! For this project I will be exploring the personal and dynamic relationship I hold with my mother and by reflecting on specific memories, both positive and negative, I will create a series of mixed media pieces that define the relationship we have as mother and daughter. For ideas I was able to sit and journal with my mom and come up with numerous memories that we both have to influences my pieces. Here are some of the possible memories I will be looking at.


The first one was form when I was 5 years old. I was a little monster and threw the worst tantrums. So the particular memory is from a time when it got so bad that I made my mom cry in the bathroom while I was having a fit in the bedroom. 


Another memory is the day that my mom finally found out that she was pregnant with me. She was so excited because they had been trying for so long. This is a particular memory I don't remember but I somewhat important to our relationship.


Another memory is from a particular mother/daughter date that we had. We went to the movies and it was fun to just spend time with each other.


Another memory is a more recently occuring when from times that I call her on the phone to asking for advice or discuss a project for school and it ends in us arguing, handing up and than 5 minutes later calling to say that we were sorry. 


        These are just a few of the possible memories that I will use as inspiration for a series of prints. So jumping of from this point my next step is to start sketching images from these memories. I was hoping to get a jump start on all of this this past weekend but came down with the flu bug and was basically helpless for the past few days. So my next step is to do some sketches, start experimenting with color studies, painting with water colors and mixing them with prints. Also finishing the print I did on canvas previously to to see if there is any potential there. I have a lot of work to do before my presentation so this next week will be really busy but hopefully fun. Also this week I spent some time on my presentation for the review in a week. There is some more things that I need to figure out in the next few days and answers that I need to figure out to pull my entire project together. So now that I am feeling better I am ready to get to work and produce a lot for my presentation.   

        This week has been all about experimenting with different media. Whatever my final pieces end up being about I want to work with different medias to create a more dynamic piece. So to start the week I spent a few hours on completing the stippled I had started the other week. My process began from a drawing that illustrates the interaction and relationship between a spider web and dandelions. This interaction focuses on my relationship with my mother and the whole idea of her being a strong yet beautiful spider web holding together delicate dandelions.

        This drawing was than transfered to a piece of clear mylar in the form of a stipple. Once the stipple was completely transfered I took everything to the printing studio and through the photo litho process I transfered the image to a photo litho plate. The final piece was about 11 inches by 9 inches. When the photo litho plate was completed I was ready to start making some prints. I started by making some normal prints to see how the print looked. 

       After that I began printing on different things to experiment and see how things turned out. A few ideas didn't work for example I tried to bring on canvas. I wanted to see how I would be able to combine printmaking and oil painting on canvas. The transfer of the ink onto the canvas did not work that well and turned out really light. I may try this again and try and ink the plate some more. I also am going to take some of the normal prints and try and combine the print with watercolor and see how that mixture works. 

        The last experiment I tried the other way was combining my print with one of the color studies I previously completed. This print is probably one of my favorite combinations. I love how the image interacts with the stripes of color. So I think this experiment is in more of the direction that I want to continue to go for my final pieces. I am able to use both my imagery as well as incorporate the color combinations to create that feeling.   

        Also this week I was able to go home for the first time this semester. At home I was able to interact and talk with my mom and find some inspiration and direction for my final project. I started to think more about different memories that define our relationship beyond just the emotions or feelings I would use to describe our relationships. Overall this weekend was good to go home and interact and it helped me find some answers and got me to think more in depth about my relationship with my mother. So I'm still trying to figure everything out and answer questions while having fun and experimenting with different media. 

          This week has been full of frustration, exploration, and new ideas. I have been struggling with the whole concept of how to execute my big idea. My relationship with my mom is so complex and hard to put into pictures, which is exactly what I am trying to do. After creating color studies and seeing how color could influence the idea and/or emotion that exist between my mother and I, as well as journaling and sketching certain object that I believed best represented my idea I once again got stuck and more frustrated. I was not sure of where to go from here so I started to think about what ?I like to do best and something which I have realized has been present throughout this entire process. I love to draw! I wanted to get my hands back into the drawing process and the freedom I feel when I do it. Furthermore, below are a few images that I have completed to start thinking about drawing figures and faces. They are very technical pencil drawings that focus specifically on the face. None of these images are of my mother or I they were just for fun and practice.

          Also this week our class took a trip to the Tappan Library on campus to research art and specific artist that relate to our projects. Here I looked a artist that included Gene Davis which focuses on color, As well as some aboriginal art that is very colorful and expressive. This was influencial in how color is used and applied to create a feeling. One specific image that I loved is a painting by Emily Kame Kngwarreye called Awelye. Another artist that I came across that started to influence this idea of focusing on faces is Vernon Ah Kee.  

          After look at these artist and have a small in class critique I think I have a good idea of the path I need to now take. In this next week and over break I am going to focus on my mother's face as well as my own face and the interaction between us too. I want to continue to draw and complete more expressive version  of our faces while using charcoal and even color pastels. I want to both draw from real time as well as from memory and explore the differences and see what kinds of meanings and expressions can be expressed through the two different methods. As well as drawing I am going to conitinue to explore the process of photo litho and finish a few of the images I previously started. With these I can explore ideas of color, layering and mixture of different mediums. 

       This week I spent a lot of time researching artists. I have been thinking about color, the use of certain color combinations and the meanings or emotions that can be evoked by color so I started to look into artists that focus specifically on color in their work. The first artist I looked into is Paul Feeley. The piece below is just one of his many color studies. His compositions are simple and focus just on the colors and what is evoked from the specific color combinations.  

         The next artist I found was David Allan Peters. I am excited about his work. He creates complex organic shapes made of layers of color. This in contrast to the white background creates a dynamic piece. When I first saw this piece I thought it was carved into, similar to what process I did to carve into the book, but once I read more ??I found out it is just acrylic painted on a panel. I love how it seems you can "look through" the layers of this piece and it has influences some new thoughts of where my two-dimensional works can go. 

         The next artist I found is Deneane Niebergall. Her work is very simplistic yet it draws you in. I love her use of prismatic and muted colors and I think that theses images are interesting, simple and elegant in a way. The shapes are organic and create a movement which is something I want to try and do in my pieces. 

         Besides my own personal research On Tuesday we went and visited our own University Museum, UMMA. Here we were given part of the class time to wonder around the museum and take in the art. I spent most of my time in the contemporary portion and looked at work by Robert Longo and Jules Olitski. The second place I spent most of my time was in the Whistler gallery. For a limited time his prints are being shown in the museum, so I took in all i could. The majority of his pieces are etching, which having my own experience with etching I greatly appreciated his work. They are so beautiful and show great detail that you know had to take hours upon hours to complete just one image. Besides the beauty of his work the one thing that I couldn't help but notice was the size of his pieces. All his work are only a few inches big which forces the viewer to come close to be able to see the imagery and all its details. 

        I love this idea of the pieces being small and having the to come inches from it to take in the imagery. This is something that got me thinking more about my own work and from this point on I think I want my final pieces in my series to be small. Some of his prints are below and they are beautiful! 

         Along with my research I have continued to do some work and small color studies. So this weekend I am going to start getting my fingers into some paint. I have creates some small canvases and I plan to play with oil paints and create some new color studies based on the feelings/concepts/emotions I am focusing on in my relationship with my mother.  Also this week I have continued to work on a stipple that I plan to turn into a photo litho print and experimenting with printing it on canvas. But I am still unsure about the imagery in this drawing so at this point I am not sold on it and will use it probably just for experimentation with the process of printing on canvas. Tonight I did some up with a new idea of imagery but I don't want to get my hopes up. I still love the idea of a stippled print and want to incorporate it into my final series so I am planning on playing with this new idea and hopefully not coming to another dead end. 

         I started this week off by sitting down and talking to my mom. We talked about our relationships, the physical aspects that exist between a mother and daughter, as well as the emotional aspects of our relationship. Specifically some things we talked about were the positive things and negative things and came up with words that characterized our personal bond. Some of the words that came up were easy, loving, complicated, aggravating, fun, comforting, etc. 

        Based on these words I began to create more color studies. By coming up with specific color combinations I have been trying to create pieces that evoke a certain feeling that comes from the given word. Some of the color studies are pictured below. The first study uses warm colors that are based on the word loving. The second image uses colors that are vibrant and engaging to evoke a feeling of energy and fun. The third color study uses colors that are light and muted creating a feeling of easiness and a calming feeling. 

        Along with these color studies I have also been working on developing some drawings that I am turning into photo litho prints. From both of these methods and  mediums that I am exploring I want to start playing with the idea of mixing them. In this next week I am going to mix and layer prints with paint. I am not sure how it will turn out but I am eager to see!

It has been a new week with new problems to solve. Still focusing on my relationship with my mom I have been thinking of the best way to represent our relationship visually as well as what parts of the relationship are the most important for me to talk about. I started the week off by doing another set of color studies. I created three compositions that all use colors to represent a certain emotion or characteristic. 


The first image uses colors that create a simple and feminine look. The second composition uses brighter colors that represent a more creative and vibrant characteristic, while the third composition uses colors that show a more modest characteristic. These are all characteristics that both my mom and I posses. 

Also this week I have started thinking about the relationship and the whole idea of me growing up in her shoes. This had me think about all the positive and negative aspects of our relationships and the woman that I do and don't want to be. So i began creating this image below which represents my own feet as a younger girl wearing her mom's shoes around. With this image i am creating a print. With the print I am going to play with mixing it and layer it with other images and different mediums such as paint. 

As for this coming week I still have concerns and questions about where to go with this idea and what the best way to represent the overall message. I still have to answer questions and I think talking with my mom more is really going to help. Also I am going to continue to explore mediums and techniques to figure out a way to be present my thoughts. Im just going to keep working and trying to make something. 

       My week started off with doing some new color studies. I figured I would try and tackle the project again but went about it in a different manner. I began by defining prevalent personality traits that stuck out in the word web I had previously done and than each of these traits were assigned a color. Next I began to construct the personality of each individual based on a numerical scale using the colors, than created an image combining the colors of both the other individual and myself. Below are the combinations that resulted from each relationship.


Relationship: Freshman Roommate & Myself

 Relationship: Childhood Friend & Myself

 Relationship: Mother & Myself

 Relationship: Boyfriend & Myself

        Based on these color combinations that were created I than began to analyze them and write down notes based on what I saw and felt form the compositions. 

        Also in this past week I have started to focus more closely on one particular relationships, the relationship with my mother. This is an important relationship to me and I want to take some time to explore the possibilities of this relationship looking at all aspects of it both positive and negative. Based on this I have begun to create some sketches pictured below that I plan to turn into prints. 

        This sketches are created based on the idea of combining two separate individuals into one. I wanted it to be simplistic so the main emphasis is on the images and the interaction between to two. 

        The next step for me is to work on some more color studies. Although my initial idea is to create monochromatic images I am still exploring the idea of colors. Color can have a strong emphasis on the meaning within the final pieces. So the other day I finally received the book Color Image Scale by Shigenobu Kobayashi. So with guidance from the book and personal experimentation I am going to create some color studies. Also this week I am going to be turning my sketching into a series of small prints while possibly exploring combinations of mediums. Additionally although I have been doing some research on a variety of artist books. 

This week I continued to do more journaling to try and get a better sense of these personal relationships I have. I did a few word webs to look for connections between individuals and certain relationships while trying to paint a better picture of each person's personality. By simply writing descriptive words it is interesting to see the similarities between people as well as the differences in personality.  

Also this week I began to do a few studies using color to try and visually demonstrate a feeling that these relationships evoke. When starting out my goal was to use the color to visually show a feeling based on the people but when I started I slowly began to get more and more frustrated. It was difficult to combine the right colors to evoke a feeling and just not coming across as what I was thinking. But I was recommended a book called Color Image Scale that I am excited to take a look at. It talks about color combinations and emotions that can be brought out by certain combinations. Once I get this book next week I am going to try and do a second color study.

Over this break I am working on some sketching and starting to transfer them into images ultimately trying to create some prints using the photo-litho process. So I am excited to get into the print studio and do some work. This week was short and sweet but I have been doing a lot of journaling and research and now I am excited to get my hands dirty and start making stuff!

          Relationships are an essential part of any human beings life and almost all individuals can say that they have formed a bond with at least one other person. What intrigues us to form these relationships, how or why do they work? What does the relationship look like? This past week these are questions I began to ask myself about my own relationships.   
      
          This week I did a lot of journaling in an effort to decide which one of my own personal relationships I would start to explore more. I decided on four specific relationships that all can be characterize in completely different ways: 


The first relationship is with my boyfriend. 
We share a bond that people are always looking for. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I have started to explore our relationship more and looked at our individual personalities. We have a lot of similar characteristics and interest but there is also so much that is different and sometimes can be frustrating. It is interesting to start to visualize how this bond looks to other people and how it can be portrayed visually. 


The second relationship is with my mom.
We share a bond that is both biological and personal. She is someone that I know will always be there and we can laugh together and be serious. I've realized a lot of times we don't get along or get frustrated with each other but we are so much alike. Everyone says I look and hold a lot of the same personality traits as my mom so it is interesting to try and portray this idea, yet still keep hold of the difference we do have.


The third relationship is with one of my old friends.
This relationship is very interesting to me. Lindsay and I are only a few months apart and growing up were inseparable. We hold so many memories and have many similar interests. Once we both hit high school and went in different directions we slowly began to drift apart. So it is interesting to look and see how our relationship has changed over the years. Even though we do not see each other that often right now, when we do we can talk and hang out like nothing has changed even though so much in our own lives has changed. 


The fourth relationship is with one of my first roommates at college. 
This relationship is also very different than the previous ones I have started to look at. This relationship was not a good one. We were two completely different individuals that were in a way forced to live together and get along. Looking back at it all i could describe it as an arranged marriage that went bad. So for me it is interesting to see how this relationship was viewed by all outsiders and how it really felt to be in the relationship itself. Also It is interesting to compare this relationship to any of the previous ones i have stated.   

Beyond this exploration I have started to dig deeper into these relationships and start to describe the actual relationship in ways that I could start to illustrate them. I have started this by describing the relationship in just a few words. For example the relationship with my college roommate i described as fake, forced and sometimes distant, while in comparison the relationship with my boyfriend i described as being stable, fun, true and sometimes frustrating. Also another thing that came to mind it the number of years that I have been in this relationship and if that factor can or will play a part in my final piece. 


In relation with my research and journaling I have started to sketch to try and help my get a better visual of what these relationships actually look like. I will have some of these sketches uploaded soon. I have also started to think about what I want the audience to get from looking at these pieces and I want to spark a sense of curiosity not only about my own relationships but I want them to start to think about their own relationships. 


As for the coming weeks I still have a lot of research and exploration to do. I am going to continue journalling and sketching. Also I plan on doing a few studies using color to try and visually demonstrate a feeling that these relationships evoke. Another thing that I am excited to start doing is getting into the print studio. I want to start to turn some of my sketches and ideas into small prints to explore mediums for my final pieces. 

A lot of things have changed this week. 


During the week I spent a lot of time reading, thinking about being uncomfortable and did some sketches to try and capture the feelings of uncomfortableness. The images of my sketches and descriptions of the concept behind each one can be found in the previous post. But after all this I was just at a stand still. I was not sure of where to go with this whole uncomfortable feeling and was getting more and more frustrated.


So I continued to read in search an ah ha moment, something that would inspire me to move forward. In the book I have been reading I finished a chapter called "Thin Slicing". This chapter talked about how we as individual thin slice everyday when we are trying to understand everything around us. Specifically, they began to talk about thin slicing to get an instant understanding of another human being. The most interesting part was when I read about an individual who analyzes couples in relationships. He is able to sit, watch and analyze a couple's 15 minute conversation and based on ques and certain behaviors he observed he had a 95% accuracy rate of determining if they would be divorced in the next 15 years. 


This inspired me to start to think about my own personal relationships. How and why can two completely separate individuals come together to form a bond? What is unique about the dynamic of their relationships? These are just a few question I have begun to ask myself and am excited to start to explore.


Also another thing that has inspired this concept is an illustration I did last year. This is an image of flowers, something beautiful and feet, something considered ugly, coming together and forming a connection. It is the whole idea of opposites attract. 

Based on this new idea this coming week I am going to continue to do a lot of reading about relationships. As well I am going to do a few studies to help me better understand certain relationships I have chosen to look at further. Im just excited to see where this all leads!

Weekly Update

Here is a quick update on everything I have been working on during the past few days. 

I have finally finished the book that I began cutting into. The whole concept behind this work is the idea of the unexpected. On the outside this looks like an old book filled with ghost stories but once it is opened the viewer realizes it is not what it seems. The ghost stories cannot be read because the pages have been cut into creating something that is visually pleasing ultimately challenging the idea that this book is suppose to evoke fear in the reader. 

Also this week I have been working on trying to understand and visually represent the concept of what uncomfortable is and how it feels. Below are just two of the three sketches/paintings I completed in hope of portraying uncomfortableness. In the first image I tried to portray a personal feeling of uncomfortableness. This feeling of being uncomfortable is a feeling of not being 100% on track, being stressed, feeling confused and feeling of being inept. I tried to paint/sketch what my mind was going through at the moment. The constant effort to try and be comfortable and calm, but those moment of not knowing what to think are portrayed at the same time. In the second image I tried to portray a physical uncomfortableness. I painted a simple object, an apple, with my less dominant hand. For someone to try and complete tasks with their non dominant hand is difficult and physically does not feel comfortable. My hand it not used to holding a paint brush in this manner. After completing these sketches took note of what I felt and was thinking at the time and after while evaluating my work. For example when looking at the first image I felt more uncomfortable because the image turned out ugly. I would have been embarrassed to have anyone else look at this piece and even try and understand it. 

After exploring the idea of being uncomfortable and getting individual responses, which were interesting, I began to think more about it and where I could go next with this idea. And I was stumped. What is this feeling of being uncomfortable and why does it matter to me? I began this project by thinking of putting myself in a situation that I am not fully comfortable to allow myself to be challenged and grow. So I began questioning if my project needed to be about uncomfortableness specifically or could I place myself in a situation that I do not feel completely comfortable in to gather my research and ultimately create something I learn from that interaction. I don't know if any of this makes sense, but somehow in my mind it all makes sense. 

So I began looking at some of my past work for inspiration. I specifically looked at these pieces below. 

This is a sketch that was later turned into a stippled print. It was a project for my printmaking class and probably one of my favorite pieces I have done. First of all I love the details of it but most of all I love the concept. It is something unexpected in the idea of why feet would be growing from flowers of why flowers would be growing from feet. I choose two object that are complete opposites, something beautiful and something ugly and combined them in a way i saw visually pleasing. 

These three images were apart of a project titled "Insecurities" . For this project I look physical aspect of the body and against common societal beliefs portrayed them as something beautiful. This project again touches on the idea of opposites and reading further for a deeper meaning. I still love the idea of what is not immediately evident. Where is outside is viewed different than what is really on the inside.  


So I think after thinking about all this I am leaning towards going in a little bit of a different direction than the whole concept of uncomfortableness. I am not completely changing directions but I want to further explore this idea of what is not immediately read and begin looking at relationships. So who knows what will come of this. . . . .